How to Write a Best-Selling #Shifter #Romance Novel by your devoted authors at @WolfPackReads #humor

30 Tips for how to get rich quick by writing shifter romance from best-selling Wolf Pack authors

Learn the fang and fur method I used to earn a million dollars last year!!!

Sexy blond girl in pink underwear dawolf1a
  • No sex, ever in a shifter romance
  • Happily Ever After? Totally optional.
  • Readers love infidelity.
  • The hero should hit the heroine at least once.
  • The hero should have really gross manners. Heroines love to fix their man.
  • The hero should tell the heroine she’s fat. And put her on a diet as a sign of his devotion.
  • The hero should pick his nose
  • The hero should shout, “She’s mine! All mine!” Every third page.
  • Having a naked male chest on your cover does NOT sell books.
  • Instead, the cover should feature a moon and flowers.
  • Romance readers love the word “cunt”.
  • …and “dick”.
  • It’s a “bunghole”, not “anal”.
  • All heroines should be super needy. Their only mission in life is to get a man.
  • Strong women are NOT attractive.
  • A heroine should be whiny, useless, and dependent.
  • Pathetic is preferable.
  • Take your sweet time getting to the story.
  • Describe every little gasp and fart in precise detail.
Illustration of a Woman Sitting on a Fart Cushion
  • “Dick” is out of fashion.
  • But “pantaloon python” is okay.
  • The hero must rant all directives…
  • …and throw things when he’s angry.
  • He’s always angry.
  • A real Alpha shares his lady with everyone.
  • In fact, he recommends it.
  • And rents her out by the hour.
  • Bestiality is totally acceptable. They should go at it AS bunnies.

And finally…

  • Incest sells best. Be sure to use “Daddy” and “Daughter” in the title.

3 thoughts on “How to Write a Best-Selling #Shifter #Romance Novel by your devoted authors at @WolfPackReads #humor

  1. I love it!

  2. Anonymous

    Too funny!

  3. Heather

    Thats to funny lmfao

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