Can’t Live Without Pants #Humor

Mr. Snark last put away a basket of laundry back in 1979. It was the cold war and his mother threatened his nuts.

Some couples fight about money or fidelity. Mr. Snark and I duke it out over folded baskets of clean clothing. I wash, sort, and fold the laundry. Load it into baskets that are then distributed to each male. The expectation is the laundry should be put away in drawers and the baskets returned.

My boys hem and haw, but they’re always in compliance within a day or two.

Not so with Mr. Snark. He holds onto his laundry baskets for weeks. Hordes them like a miser. Stacks two, and then three, and then four. Until I’m fuming and start figuring out how to get rid of the body.

I’ve tried hiding his clothing. Stacking baskets upon chairs and in front of computer monitors. Trickery. Bribery. Outright threats to his nuts.

No avail.

This morning, I awoke to the sound of Mr. Snark furiously opening and closing drawers. Muttering. I drifted back to sleep and when I awoke again, I discovered the man had put away every single last stick of clean clothing.

I gawked, incredulous. “What happened?”

His eyebrows knit into that caterpillar unibrow. “I ran out of pants. I figured you’d hidden them. That you’d figured out I have unlimited numbers of socks and shirts. But a finite number of pants. I can’t live without pants.”

I almost died laughing. “Man, that’s diabolic! I’m so glad you thought of it!”

10 thoughts on “Can’t Live Without Pants #Humor

  1. Pamela Talley

    Very funny. What is it about men and laundry? When I first met my husband he would take his laundry to the wash & fold, bring it home nicely folded in plastic bags. Nothing would see the inside of a drawer or a hanger and closet. Ran me crazy.
    When I was unable to walk from Oct. until the middle of Dec., foot surgery, he would sort, wash, dry and bring me everything to fold. He has made a career of folding badly. Oh well, some battles I haven’t even thought of fighting.

  2. Farah Evers

    I have 3 baskets for sorting. The whites/lights, black, and colors. He never throws the right laundry into the right basket. Is he color blind? He denies it but I am sure he is. It drives me crazy.

  3. Ashantay Peters

    Hilarious! I’m so glad you have a weapon to fight with, now!

  4. I don’t have baskets but I put fold laundry in stacks and put them on his half of the bed. Underwear is put away, socks end up on a pile on the floor (which the dog then sleeps on) and shirts are piled on top of the laundry basket – we have a nice wooden laundry container for dirty clothes…I think I used it as a year before it became the dumping place for hubby to stack clothes…it has a lid.

    I don’t understand the aversion of males for putting the stuff away. The hard parts been done already.

  5. Alison Henderson

    I’m glad you’ve finally discovered the key to compliance – pants.

  6. Eunice

    Omg!!!!! I’m dying here! That’s classic. My husband gets really mad at me. Here’s the thing though he does his own! Lmao

  7. LMAO That’s so funny Melissa!!! I’m lucky. I wash and dry and hubby takes clothes upstairs and folds and distributes. Now dishes? Different matter all together. 🙂

  8. I don’t even bother asking my husband to put away his laundry. I know I’ve spoiled him all these years, but honestly, it wouldn’t be worth the aggravation!

  9. Thanks for the laugh!

  10. Z. Minor

    Cute story. Made me smile. I love the basket idea.

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